Remembering Brian

 To Brian...   because we will never forget!

Seven years ago we lost our brother Brian.  He died of a heart attack while playing racquetball with his best friend Tom.   He was loved by everyone who knew him and he is missed every day.  At his memorial service Greg spoke of the brother he loved.  These are his words...

I am Brian's brother Greg. Thank you all for coming today to remember, cry, laugh and most importantly celebrate the life of this wonderful man who changed all our lives.  This has been one of the toughest things I've been through probably since my Dad died.  Time really seems to just stop for awhile as you forget all the routine things in life and remember what is most important-our families, our relationships with friends, the well-being of others.   I've a gained a deeper desire to love those around me.  Brian seemed to really understand the importance and joy of relationships with his family...  and friends who in Brian's world became family.  Well I am not going down the typical eulogy  path in my remarks but simply wanted to share some stories and thoughts that I thought best represent Bri. 

     We have a room in the basement of the house where we grew up on Abby Lane in Portland that has a wall filled with quotes from Shakespeare.  All four boys, our sister Chris, Mom and Jim and the LaRose family I'm sure all remember this room which became the best room for a teenager.  I was lying in this room a couple of days ago unable to sleep and staring at the famous wall.  A slogan hit my eye.  It said "they do not love who do not show their love".    Brian knew how to love others.  This full room of his close friends and family I am sure would agree that Brain did not care about climbing the corporate ladders, gaining riches, becoming and academic scholar or keeping up with the Jones.  His happiness came from baking the best pumpkin bread (sorry Mom) grabbing a 6 pack and getting together with family and friends at camp, or catching a Bosox or Pats game with Tom and Monique. He loved a good party and he loved people.  As his obituary says" Brian was the first to arrive at the family gathering and the last to leave."  He would prepare for the event whether it was baking or barbecuing food, bringing a new flying toy, fireworks, or a football for a back yard game.  Each year we would draw straws to decide which brother we were going to buy a Christmas gift for and ...sorry guys.. I always hoped Brian would pick me.  Even though he didn't have a lot of money, Brain seemed to carefully search out the perfect gift. 

     As I was thinking about some of Brian's unique qualities I suddenly realized that he individually has built the deepest relationships with each of his brothers, his six nephews, and even Mom and Jim.  He regularly would take the time to hang out with each of us or simply call.  When we needed computer help of course we called 1-800-Brian, he would quickly solve our computer glitch and then he would talk for 45 minutes. 

     Well let me take you back in time with a couple of stories.  Bri ( I called him Bri although for most of his teenage life he was Pugsley to me and he called me Egg) Bri loved all animals.  When he was young he brought a have -a -heart trap just to catch different animals to look at them.   The problem was when he caught a raccoon, an owl, or a skunk he was too scared to release the animal so he would drag me out of the house to come release the catch of the day.  For some reason he loved to hatch ducks and chickens.  One duck that hatched  came out with a crippled leg and Brian named him Crip.. Anne and I were trying to get the crippled little guy to walk but he was just dragging his body around the kitchen and Brian said  "maybe he just needs a little water" so he filled up the round bathroom sink and put the duck in the water.  Instantly the duck took off like an outboard in circles and sent the water all over the walls.  Brain was right.

I remember trying to get Brian to come out and play one on one with me on our baseball court.  Brian told me no way because he just got some more bird cards in the mail (these were educational cards of birds that came periodically in the mail if you kept sending in money) well Brian wouldn't play hoops with me and he made me test him on the new bird cards. If you have ever been to Brain's house you know about his love of birds.

Most of you know that Brian loved fishing.  He and Barbara were living in Sanford not too far from Anne and me.  I needed a ride to Western Maine for some reason. Well, he picked me up way before I needed to go and told me he needs to make a couple of stops.  I needed a ride so I wasn't about to argue and we took off.  I was staring out the window at a pond and the next thing I knew we were four-wheeling over grass to get as close to the pond as possible.  Brain had just gotten one of these telescoping pocket fishermen poles so we would stop at any random pond along the way and fish the edge for 15 minutes each.  I think my one hour trip took about 3 hours.  Fishing with Brian was frustrating for me.   We spent many summers at his favorite place- camp on Long Pond in Parsonsfield. This was a real old fashioned rustic camp.  Anne andI took our little Bro Brian everywhere including camp.  We also needed a third person to spot us while we water-skied.  On one fishing trip with Brian I actually landed a trophy size Small-mouth Bass.  I remember arguing with him in the boat because I wanted to bring my fish back to camp to show off my catch (not really to eat it) but Brian of course being the animal lover that he is wanted to release the fish.  I remember shouting "why would we come out here and after 2 hours finally catch a big fish and then just let him go!".  Brian calmly said because its fun and he'll grow bigger.   Well the argument lasted long enough that the fishy wasn't flopping so Brian spent the next 5 minutes rocking the fish underwater until he somehow revived and swam away.
    Brian was smart (I think that's why everyone called him "Brain").  He had a mind like a trap for detail. Many times the family would be all standing around reminiscing and laughing about funny stories, as usual, Brian would add the detail and truth to the story.  Then he would start in his usual humorous way a new "remember when" get us laughing hysterically and we would look at each other and say "how does he remember these things?"  He was also the technical genius in the family fixing or even building our computers.  One time Brian built Keith a nice computer and being the jealous brother that I am I wanted him to build me one too.  Well he did and it wasn't your typical gray box.  This computer looked like an alien with a lighted cobra face and then Brian told me that he put a couple of things on the hard drive.  In addition to almost every program you would ever need Brian dumped about 5000 classic rock songs from the 70's and 80's (my favorites) on the hard drive.  Brian loved music, loud music that you feel,playing at all hours of the day and night.  See Brain somehow knew how to intercept all the "free" information out there in cyber world. I think the Satellite companies will have a harder time catching up to him now.
     Bri got he looks in the family and somehow managed to hang on to his hair.  He always seemed to be introduced at the weddings or special events as the incredibly handsome Brian.  I remember thinking "I've never been introduced that way."
     Brian's pride and joy was his best friend and only son- Bam Bam.  He and Johnny had the most amazing relationship.  It was more than just a father and son.  They were best buds.  Having nervously paced the sidelines of every one of Johnny's baseball games, Brian could recite almost every game situation going back to little league.  I heard quite a few play by plays.  The last time I saw Bri was on my birthday in January and he mentioned that Jon's leaving for college was very hard on him but he was sure glad he had his close friends and especially Karen around. 

     Mom, I know you wanted to be first in line but Brian cut in front.  Even though it seemed like Brian never answered your calls don't feel bad.  He loves you and mentioned many times to me that he attributes all the joy, peace, and love he feels to the wonderful loved filled childhood you provide shim.  I know Jim and that Brian ha d s special place in your heart. You had a special bond with Bri having raised him as  your own son. You will be hearing from Brian's close friend Tom soon but I do want to thank you Tom and Monique for being like family for so many years.  I think their daughter Hannah even called him Uncle Brian.
     Well Brian is gone from our sight but his spirit (what makes him who he is) is alive and he'll always be with us.  I don't purport to know why the doctors couldn't find out what was wrong or why the Lord called him home, but I do know that Brian knew what was important in life and he lived admirably through this short mortal test on earth preparing him for the next wonderful step of our progression.  We will all experience what Brian has just done for we wouldn't want it any other way- it's just the line-up that makes it hard. for those behind.  Brian is probably here with us today smiling, free of chest pains, saying "don't be sad, cheer up, life is good but this is even better."  I''m sure he is enjoying being with Kevin, getting to know his Dad, while Granny Dalton sings Greanny's little grandchild in the background.
     What would Pugs want us to do? Keep the tradition alive and spend time together often, cheer on the Pats and the Bosox, talk to each other, enjoy the simple things in life, and show our love to each other.  I raise my glass to you Bro... till we meet again.